Carrie Bradshaw: A Relic of Feminism

I am a 30 year old woman, single, living in the city, working a full time job, involved with volunteer work, social, outgoing, independent, big fan of mascara and lip gloss, frequently seen running through an airport to catch my flight for a girls weekend away in Mexico and have a committed relationship with all that encompasses “fashion” --- oh, and by the way, did I mention I am a faithful Catholic??  

At first glance, it more sounds like a character description of Carrie Bradshaw from none other than Sex and the City but adding the catholic disclaimer is like adding a moral compass to Carrie Bradshaw – and no, this is not a necklace, broach or belt.  

Would she even consider such a fashion statement??  Or would she struggle emotionally and flip-flop between advice from martini -inspired conversation and the ever-popular internal dialogue (that is creepily familiar to the Wonder Years).  But have no fear women of the world, Carrie will type away on her lovely Mac and her journalistic core will lead her to “freedom” from such a nasty and confining thought … oh, the morality of it all. 

When it comes to a life inspired by moral values the stereotypical options seem to be the Carrie Bradshaw’s of the world or the SNL’s Church Lady.  The Carrie type boasts of female/sexual/professional freedom while the Church Lady type points fingers, suggests eternal damnation, and clearly is lacking in style.  

The options seem bleak when it comes to ‘how to wear your moral compass’ and no wonder, we as woman, would rather try out the Carrie Bradshaw prototype!  Who wouldn’t?  

Who wants to wear brown plaid when you can wear a tutu and stilettos?  Life in a big city or the front pew in chapel?  These choices seem a little drastic and unrealistic but isn’t this how it feels sometimes?

The way these so called options are strewn before us give the illusion that you can not be both, you must pick one and just make the best of it.  Now, for those who raised their hand when you read ‘front pew in chapel’, God bless you!  For those on the fence, for those, like myself, who at one point, believed the dichotomous lie, read on my friends, read on. 

For some (myself included), we attempt the Carrie lifestyle in all its glamour with the hope of clinging to some of what we were taught in bible school … but real life segments do not end in 60 minute increments with a jazzy soundtrack.  There are no edits, no re-tapes, no cuts.  We are left in Carrie’s shoes (very nice ones by the way) with no lifeline.  Time goes on and we find ourselves lost in translation, only recognizable in the episodes of The Hills – which sadly confirms that our moral compass has sunk to a new barely-there level.  

Carrie Bradshaw was my hero while living in New York City.  She was independent, didn’t need a boyfriend to feel fulfilled, yet pined over Mr. Big, she ran after dry cleaning, drank tons of coffee, loved her girlfriends, fought for her journalistic freedom, wrote a book and even purchased her own apartment!  What every New Yorker dreams of!  This self proclaimed “feminist”, who even sent an invitation and registered for gifts (yes, it was for shoes) in celebration of single hood, was outspoken when it came to her God-given freedom.  But was Carrie really free?  Let alone, happy?

Carrie Bradshaw is what Helen Alvare refers to as “Old Feminism”.  Helen Alvare has written on this topic of Old Feminism versus New Feminism and references mostly the Evangelium Vitae.  The old feminism embraced ideas of sexual freedom, "all about me" mentality and anti-establishment concerning religion, in particular, Christianity.  

Carrie saw herself as a free feminist; one that could change her stance on any issue as often as she changed her shoes.  There were no solid “truths”, all was interchangeable and adaptable to her lifestyle (and boyfriend) at the time - hmm... sounds like modern day relativism?  Her mantra seemed to be to “Let Go and Let Love”.  This freedom in her feminist stance is reminiscent of George Costanza on Seinfeld.  Shall I remind you of a classic “George” scene?  George tells Jerry that his girlfriend called him selfish, only to go on and say, “I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it … Is that so selfish!!”  Jerry’s reply, a classic one indeed, “Well, George, I believe that is the definition of selfish”.  And this is where the Old Feminism began their decent, almost from the start, because their freedom was taboo for selfish, solidarity and the mantra of "forget others, focus on self".  

I look back on my life and lifestyle while living in Manhattan and I remember distinctly walking back to my flat after a day in a photoshoot feeling very “Carrie” and this false sense of identity made me proud to be a woman.  I thought I could be flighty, sexy, smart, sweet, enticing, stubborn, snobby, whatever I wanted, because I was my own person and nobody could change me – not even the One that created me.  I had power and I felt independent when these thoughts rushed into my head, as my soles pounded the sidewalk.  But bottom line: I really wasn’t happy.  I felt trapped because of my lifestyle and nothing about me, when the makeup was washed off, clothes hung up and shoes off, made me feel a part of something.  In fact, I remember thinking to myself, “What am I even contributing to this world?  Anything?”  Yet, this is what is called “freedom”.      

How can freedom really be free if it ignores those around us?  What is free in selfishness if all are selfish?  Carrie, it seems, didn’t have a fighting chance.  Luckily, us real women, not HBO characters, do have a choice.  We have the choice to make the right choice.  For me, the right choice is choosing what Helen Alvare describes as New Feminism, which embraces a lifestyle that is life and service centered.  Helen Alvare goes on to outline the foundation of a New Feminism based on the Evangelium Vitae.  Alvare notes that “Women's well-being is not pursued in isolation; rather, our well-being, dignity, and freedom are always related to the well-being, dignity, and freedom of others.  Finally, and most importantly, a new feminism, a Christian feminism, remembers God."   

So you see, sporting a Carrie type would be the most anti-feminist option to take, and the woman subscribing to the Church Lady prototype places herself in a small box that shares in the blind ignorance and virtuous apathy of Carrie Bradshaw.  

The space between Carrie Bradshaw and the Church Lady is the New Feminism role that all Christian women are being called to.  This is not a theory or an ideology to remain in print and left on a shelf, but this calling is a lifestyle - one that can change the hearts and minds of men, women and children.  


To read the full article by Helen Alvare click here: http://www.historyplace.com/pointsofview/alvare.htm


To read the full encyclical from Pope John Paul II on Evangelium Vitae click here: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_25031995_evangelium-vitae_en.html